An exclusive, albeit slow paced, Q&A with the Slowskys:
We all have those singular moments in our careers that prominently rise to the top, far above the daily humdrum, as truly unforgettable. Today's Q&A certainly qualifies, seated as I was across from that offbeat, reptilian couple all-too-appropriately named, the Slowskys. Yes, that's right. After a two-year hiatus, Bill and Karolyn have come out of their shells, so to speak, with some exciting news to share. Of course, it goes without saying that they arrived fashionably late to our lunchtime tête-à-tête.
J T.: First off, I just wanted to congratulate you both on your newest addition to the Slowsky brood, Bill Jr., and say what an honor it is to have all three of you here. Tell me, did the decision to start having kids come before or after the idea to take a two-year sabbatical?
K: Um, we decided about 20 years ago that we should start thinking about having children a number of years from then. It's just a coincidence, really, that we took a two-year sabbatical during that time.
B: Which, by the way, in turtle years felt like only two seconds. Not time enough to do much of anything.
J T: OK, well, moving on, like so many couples these days, did you decide to find out ahead of time whether you were having a boy or a girl, or did you wait till the big day?
B: Waiting is the official Slowsky pastime. It applies to everything we do, like for instance, pausing the way we just did for a few minutes before answering your question.
J T.: Tell us how you landed on the name Bill Jr.? And was there a backup name in case you had a girl?
B: It wasn't an easy process, that's for sure. But I'd say all our hard work, in-depth research and long hours weighing options really paid off. We're real happy with where we landed, and I'm confident Bill Jr. will be, too. As for a girl's name, Billie-Jean had a nice ring to it, isn't that right, Karolyn?
K: Uh-huh, whatever you say Bill.
J T.: You waited quite some time after being married before having Bill Jr., but now that you know the joy of being parents, do you foresee any brothers and/or sisters for Bill Jr. in the near future? Or are we thinking one and done?
K: As far as both of our parents are concerned, we rushed it. But we've always had plans to have a big family and with as much fun as we're having with Bill Jr., I think we'll have our second here real soon, like in 30 years or so.
B: I was the youngest of 22 siblings, myself. My oldest brother is 316 years older than me. The second youngest is only 69 years older.
B: Oh, right, 68.
J T.: We all know you live life in the slow lane, so what are your plans to ensure Bill Jr. takes after the Slowskys' way?
B: A lot of quality family time doing things like watching the paint dry or waiting for HD movies to download with DSL. You know, the usual.
K: Yep, a whole lot of DSL usage seems to keep them in line. Our neighbor's kids don't use DSL and guess what?
B: They're crazy fast!
J T.: Since you've been gone, a lot has happened in the world of high speed Internet. This next question may be a sensitive one, but I can't help but ponder your thoughts about XFINITY Internet?
B: We actually prefer not to use THAT kind of language in front of the little guy. You know, young impressionable mind and all.
K: To answer your question, though, X-F-I-N-I-T-Y is just way too fast for us. And yes, it keeps me up at night worrying about Bill Jr. growing up in a world where such high-speed Internet exists.
B: I agree with her, but I sleep like a log either way.
J T.: OK, so just one last goofy question to wrap this up. If you could be anything you wanted in the world, no limits, what would you be?
B: I'd be a turtle.
K: Uh-hum, me too.
B: Real original there, Karolyn. Turtle see turtle do.
J T.: Well, thanks again Bill, Karolyn, and Bill Jr. for your time, I look forward to seeing you guys on the big screen for some time to come.